Blink Page 9

  “You doing okay, beautiful?” His mouth’s moving again, although I’m too busy concentrating on trying to remind myself it’s Flynn wrapped around me, and that I’m safe, to be able to respond. I know I should give him some indication but honestly, I can’t. I go with a smile and hope it’s the right response to his unheard question.

  “Well done, beautiful. I’m putting you down in the chair now.”

  All too soon, my time in Flynn’s arms is cut short and I’m encased in the cold, unyielding wheelchair. Instantly missing his body heat, I feel dizzy, and I don’t know if it’s from being in his arms or just because I am sitting upright for the first time. I’m going with my first theory. His focus has shifted now from me to the straps he’s currently trying fasten around my chest and waist.

  “I think you need these straps to hold you upright, but the top one is kind of in a…personal area. Ah…maybe I should get the nurse back to fasten it?” I don’t want to scare her by fiddling around near her breasts. In fact, the thought scares me shitless. I’m already a little wound up from having her in my arms. If I go near her chest, she will definitely know just how wound up I am. I won’t be able to hide it in these jeans. My dilemma is that if I leave the room to find the nurse, Harper will be unsupported and could fall. I look at her face now, trying to decide what I should do, fasten the damn strap or go get Smarty Pants, and she’s smiling broadly.

  Almost like she’s daring me to go ahead. Decision made—man up, Flynn. Taking a deep breath, I loosen the strap and click it shut around her chest. It sits just below her breasts, and I know I’ve just accidently brushed my hand against one.

  Shit. I’m blushing for the first time since junior school, when Hayley Scott kissed me in the playground. That girl knew way too much for a ten-year-old.

  “Yeah, right…well, that’s fastened nice and tight now. How do you feel about going for a little walk?” She’s smiling at me. The twitch in my groin gives me away, and her eyes drop downwards to the evidence. I’m trying to think of all things boring and un-Harper related but it’s not working. It’s damned uncomfortable, in fact.

  I’m around the back of the chair before she has chance to take in exactly what it is she just saw. I’m gripping the chair handles tightly as I lean forward and whisper into her ear. “You’re very cheeky, you know that?” I watch in awe as goose bumps spring along the flesh of her arms. “Are you cold?” As if. I know she isn’t cold. I did that to her. She’s responding to me, and it’s the best feeling ever.

  He knows I’m not cold. He’s playing with me and I feel a little giddy. I can’t quite believe just how easily my body has willing responded to him. I was praying that the chapel hat pegs that are now my nipples weren’t giving me away and poking through the fabric of my dress, but then he whispered in my ear and the goose bumps were the ones to betray me. Damn, I feel like such a girl right now. I never reacted to boys in this way before my accident, and I have no idea what it is about Flynn that makes me go a little crazy. His face was adorable when he accidently touched my boob. I thought, for a moment, that he may pass out from fright. Watching him trying to adjust his pants without me noticing was a highlight too.

  “Let’s go find Jacob. I think it’s time you two met.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Flynn

  As Flynn wheels me down the corridor, the warm breeze is wafting all around me. It’s a lovely late-summer’s day, and the sun is shining outside. Surprisingly, nobody is staring at me, the girl who doesn’t do anything. They don’t seem surprised that I’m out of bed, out of my room even. I’m just another face in the crowd, and that’s exactly how I want to feel. Like I can disappear into the sea of people, unseen and unheard, able to go about my life as I wish. Within minutes of leaving my room, we’re leaving the building via the front door. I’m waiting for the anxiety I was expecting to hit me in spades, but it doesn’t come. Instead, I feel invigorated.

  I feel free.

  I can see the main exit gate at the bottom of the long, tree-lined drive. Cars are driving up and down the road. There are loads of people in the distance, just milling around in the streets beyond the gateway, and everyone is going about their daily routine.

  Life outside is normal.

  Flynn heads left at the bottom of the ramp, taking us around towards the back of the building. I’ve turned my head sideways now. I want to keep the gateway in sight for as long as possible. I want to head down the driveway, out onto the street, and be free, just like the people I can see in the distance.

  “We won’t stay out long. It’s your first time outside in ages, so we’ll just say hi to Jacob, then I’ll get you back to your room.” The last thing I want to do is freak her out. Baby steps are what we need right now. I can see my brother and Frank laughing with one of the visiting crowd. Jacob’s helping out on the coconut shy, and from what I can see, Frank just got hit in the head with an errant tennis ball! Steering Harper in their direction, the closer I get the more I can see that Jacob is having fun. He looks relaxed and happy. Frank sees me first, and by the look on his face, I’ve done something wrong. He hands the money belt to Jacob and dashes the rest of the way over to meet me.

  “Flynn, what are you doing? Does Josh know you brought her out here?”

  “Nope, I didn’t need his permission. Harper wanted to come out, so I brought her. Nobody else was here to do it.” The shrug of my shoulders lets him know I’m not going to argue over this. “She hasn’t had a visitor in ages now, the staff are busy, so…I took care of it.”

  “Flynn, I don’t think you’re supposed to be interacting the way you do with her. They don’t like it. You’re part of the staff and there are rules to follow. Josh is pretty clear on that. I think you should take her back and hope that he doesn’t see you.”

  To be honest, I don’t care about their stupid rules if it means I can’t visit Harper. I’ve already decided to apply for the job I saw advertised in the staff room yesterday. It’s only a handyman job, but I think it’ll be good for me. We’ve all got to start somewhere. It would also mean that I can continue seeing Harper every day, too.

  “Flynn?” Josh taps me on the shoulder. “Can I have a word with you, please?”

  “Sure. Frank, can you just watch Harper, please?” Frank takes hold of the wheelchair and gives me that look, the one my mother used to give me when she was trying not to scold my ass.

  “Why is Harper Lawrence outside?” My boss is standing with one arm folded across his chest, and the other hand is rubbing his chin as he studies my face.

  I explain that she wanted to come out and there wasn’t anybody else available, but I don’t think he’s buying it.

  “But she hasn’t indicated her wishes in months, Flynn. How do you know she wanted to come outside? Did she speak to you?”

  How do I explain to him that I know what she’s thinking? They don’t take any notice of her. They just take care of her needs medically. They don’t see her like I see her, but I know if I say that I’ll sound like the worse kind of pussy.

  “She lets me know what she wants. I asked her and she let me know it was okay to bring her out.” My hand has gone instinctively to the back of my neck, rubbing away at the tension knot that’s forming there.

  “Dr Forrester told me that she’d seen you visiting her. She even said she thought she could see a slight improvement in Harper’s condition recently. She thinks it might be down to your visits, Flynn.” That wasn’t what I was expecting him to say, but I’m stoked that Harper’s doctor thinks my visits are helping. My stupid grin gives me away too. “You did read the policy booklet I gave you, didn’t you? You know we don’t tolerate fraternisation with the patients, Flynn. Why did you go ahead with this little…relationship, shall we call it?”

  I want to hit him so hard right now. I want to wipe that smarmy, smug look off his face and knock it into next week. If he mentions this to my probation officer, I’m screwed, and Jacob will have to go into care. With my fists clenching and uncl
enching at my side, I try to remain calm as I answer him.

  “Josh, we don’t have a relationship. I’m being friendly, and Harper doesn’t get many visitors from what I’ve seen, so where’s the harm in being her friend? I didn’t go against company rules as such. I always visit her outside of my hours, so I’m not technically at work during those times. Plus, I’m not strictly an employee at Bluebell Hill either.” Tenuous, I know, but give me a break, I’m clutching at straws here. “Look, I know I should’ve come to clear it with you first, but I made a mistake. We all make them sometimes. I’m sorry.”

  Josh lowers his head, shaking it from side to side slowly, as though he’s warring with himself internally. He allows the quiet to stretch out between us before he speaks again.

  “You know you’re on shaky ground with that statement, but because Dr Forrester thinks your visits are good for Harper, I’m going to overlook it this time. I’ll speak with Harper’s mother about your visits. Keep it professional, Flynn.” Josh walks away without any further conversation. I want to say I won that round, but I’m not sure I did. Josh’s words have made me uncomfortable about applying for that damned job now.

  “Flynn!” Jacob shouts across to get my attention. “Everything okay?” His hand is raised above his eyes, shielding them from the sun. He’s standing with Frank and Harper, and he looks worried. In fact, all three of them look really nervous. Josh has a lot to answer for.

  “Yeah, of course it is.” When I reach them, I pat my brother on the shoulder, squeezing it slightly and letting him know that I’m fine before I crouch down next to Harper. I want to take away her fearful look and make everything all right again.

  “Hey, I see you met my brother.” Reaching over, I entwine her fingers with mine, squeezing them reassuringly. “He isn’t as good-looking as me, but we can’t all be blessed!” The rewarding grin she offers me makes Josh’s little talk more bearable.

  “I think it’s time to get you back inside. It’s been a big day.” Harper’s hand squeezes mine tightly. She’s getting stronger. Leaning forward, I rest my forehead against hers lightly.

  “Can I push Harper back?” My brother is already standing behind her chair, gripping the handles tightly. He isn’t relinquishing his hold anytime soon.

  “Sure, but be careful with her. She’s precious cargo.” I haven’t moved from my crouched position beside her, our eyes still fixated on each other as I speak, but seeing as she hasn’t let go of my hand yet, it would be difficult to go far.

  As I rise to stand beside her, she refuses to release my hand. Her grip remains fixed, allowing me to walk beside her as Jacob pushes her back towards the entrance.

  Chapter Twenty

  Flynn

  Its Sunday, which means it’s dinner at Mrs Fisher’s place. It’s kind of become the norm these last few weeks. The woman likes to cook, what can I say? She’s lonely too, since her husband passed away. They didn’t have any kids of their own, and I’m positive she thinks of my brother and me as hers. It felt weird at first, but now it’s just…comfortable.

  “You like her more than you’re letting on. A woman my age can tell these things.” Mrs Fisher is dividing up the homemade apple pie as she picks away at my life.

  “It’s not like that…she, she likes the company. Doesn’t get many visitors, so…”

  “Now, come on, Flynn, I saw it with my own two eyes. I watched you wheel her outside, being ever so careful with her while she was in the wheelchair. Even Jacob saw it. Just be careful, dear. That’s all I wanted to say. I would hate to see you get hurt, or worse.” Quite how she thought I would end up getting hurt was beyond me, but at least that seemed like the end of the discussion, for now.

  “Is she your girlfriend? And what the Hell is wrong with her? It’s kinda weird, you perving over someone who doesn’t even speak!” Jacob is speaking around shovelling mouthfuls of pie into his mouth, and I nearly choke on the piece I’ve just swallowed.

  Mrs Fisher tries unsuccessfully to hide her smile as she reprimands my little brother. “He isn’t ‘perving’, as you so delicately put it! Flynn is just being nice. You should try it, young man!”

  “Sorry, Rose, but he was. I totally saw him. He wants her to be his girlfriend. I can tell.”

  Rose? How did I not know that was Mrs Fisher’s name, and since when does Jacob not call her Mrs Fisher?

  “It’s Mrs Fisher to you. What I want is for you to remember I’m your elder brother, and who I want as a girlfriend is none of your business! For your information, though, I just want Harper to get better.”

  “Yeah, so she can be your girlfriend!” Jacob jumps out of his seat and out of my reach at lightning speed. Rose is giggling as he hides behind her, taking cover from my flicking tea towel. “Flynn wants to kiss her,” he sings at me.

  That’s it, I want to throttle him with the towel now!

  “Now, boys, let’s not fight, eh?” Rose stands to make her point. Neither one of us sees her wobble or lose her footing, but she’s now laid on the floor between my brother and me. Lifeless and shaking.

  “Rose!” Jacob is kneeling over the frail woman, shaking her violently by the shoulders, “Flynn! Do something! Is she dead?” His eyes are pleading with me as he screams out the words. He’s scared.

  Oh fuck, I hope she isn’t. The last dead person I saw was our mother, and I’m not in any hurry to see another one. Dropping to me knees beside my brother, I’m trying to remain calm. I have no idea if she’s dead or not, but scaring Jacob isn’t an option. “No, she isn’t dead. Ring an ambulance, Jacob!” I push my brother gently to one side and lower my head to the old lady’s face, trying to feel her breath on my cheek. I saw it on a TV advert. You’re supposed to be able to feel the breath and see the chest rising, I think. My stomach flips when I realise I can’t feel her breathing. Oh shit, I do not want Jacob to watch her die.

  “Go into the hallway so you can concentrate on the phone.” I need to remove him from the situation, just in case. My fingers are shaking as I try desperately to find a pulse in her wrist or neck. The breath rushes out of me when I find it. It’s weak but it’s there. “Tell them I’ve found her pulse, tell them to hurry up!”

  Jacob is relaying everything to the phone operator. He’s calmer than I am now that he knows she isn’t dead. I can hear the sirens in the distance, and I pray that they’re for Rose. She may have a pulse, but for how much longer, I don’t know.

  The front door flies open, and Jacob guides the paramedics into the kitchen, giving them all the information they need. How in Hell’s name he knows how to deal with all this is beyond me, but in this moment I am incredibly proud of him.

  “Rose, sweetheart, can you hear me?” The paramedic is shaking her roughly, shouting her name near her ear. The old woman groans, low in her throat as her eyes flicker open. “Hello there, darling, I think you gave your grandsons a fright! How you feeling now?”

  Rose groans again before trying to speak. “Hit my head, think I just stood up too fast.”

  “I’ll give your head a check over, but I want to check your blood pressure first. Just lie still for me, sweetheart. This cuff might get a bit tight.”

  I’m holding on to her hand, offering whatever comfort I can as the paramedic takes care of Rose. My eyes search out my brother, who is being cared for by the second paramedic. He looks terrified now that help is here. He’s pale and visibly shaking, and my heart clenches seeing him so scared. “Hey, buddy. She’s gonna be fine. She’s a tough old bird, aren’t you, Rose?” I have no idea if she will or won’t be okay, but Jacob seems to relax a little when I tell him this.

  Rose is smiling at Jacob now, offering her own reassurance. “I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I just stood up too fast. Jacob, honey, don’t worry.” Taking this as my cue, I stand and go to my brother’s side. He needs me now, and I need to comfort him. I wrap my arm around his shoulders, pulling him tight to my side. Together we watch as they work on the woman who’s becoming part of our little fam
ily unit.

  “Well, that might be the case, but your blood pressure is a little on the low side, and given that you hit your head, I think we need to take a ride in my ambulance. Let the doctor check you over properly. Is that okay with you, Rose? The boys can come with us.”

  Rose begins to protest, insisting that we’re all fussing about nothing. I remember my mum telling me the exact same thing. Two days later, she was gone. Yes, she had cancer. We knew about the disease that had riddled her body. Well, I did. She’d told Jacob that she had little bugs marching through her blood, making her unwell. Our mother thought he was too young to deal with the truth at the time, and maybe he was. I don’t know.

  “Now, young lady, I’m not taking no for an answer. Pretty young thing like you needs to get the treatment she deserves.” The male paramedic certainly knows how to get the stubborn old woman to do as he wants. I think it was the wink that sealed the deal though. She’s a sucker for a wink of the eye! “Now, your grandsons can grab your keys and any medication you take, and we’ll get you settled in the back of my shiny new ambulance.”

  I opened my mouth to correct him—he should know we not related—but Rose hushes me before I can speak. I guess she likes people to think we we’re her grandkids. It probably makes her feel less alone. “Flynn, my tablets are in the bathroom cabinet, and you’ll need to lock the front door.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Harper

  The Skype icon rings out on the iPad, the latest gift from my absentee father. Nurse Smarty Pants touches the screen to accept the call for me. “It’s your father. I’ll leave you alone for a few minutes.” She’s out of the door before my father’s face has properly focused on the screen. Since he left my mother for “Penny-with-the-awesome-rack”, as my brother so eloquently puts it, the Skype calls have become my only link with my father. It’s not like I actually speak with him. I lie there, looking at the screen as he rambles on aimlessly about his work and new life overseas. It makes him happy, I think. Well, it at least makes him feel like he isn’t the shitty parent. Being MIA doesn’t seem to bother my mother though. She’s apparently in therapy right now, trying to get over my father trading her in for a younger, fitter version. God bless Penny-with-the-awesome-rack.