Blink Page 18

  “S’pose so, yeah. She helps out a lot with Jacob, but then she always did. Jay likes having her here. So it’s all good.” I hate these meetings. He always manages to remind me just how much of a crap job I’m doing with my brother, and the fact that I can feel Rose’s nerves from across the table is just making me worse. I’ve never told her how much I appreciate all that she’s done for me, for us, just always assumed she knew.

  “It shows. Jacob’s teacher is full of praise for his achievements. You don’t have long left on licence now, do you? It’s what, a few weeks, tops? Then you’ll be free to carry on with your life. Have you decided what happens next, Flynn?” Now he is taking notice of me, the pad losing interest suddenly. I’m acutely aware that if I say the wrong thing in this instant, we’ll be back to square one.

  “I’ll never be totally free to carry on. These last few months have been a wakeup call that will stay with me forever. I’ve a few options open to me. Heather, from the group sessions, has lined up some interviews. There’s a possibility of an opening at Bluebell Hill too, just general maintenance, but it’s still a job with a regular income, and Frank said he’d put in a good word for me. Whatever, I’ll do whatever it takes for Jay to stay with me.” I always have, and that’s why we’re in this shitty situation. Left to my own devices, I screw up, and that’s a worry to me. If he needs something, I’ll get it no matter what it takes, and that’s the cycle I’m supposed to be learning how to break.

  “Rose, what are your plans? Is this a permanent arrangement, living here with Flynn and Jacob?” Pete smiles over his teacup at the old woman we’ve grown to love. She’s done well not to command the meeting so far.

  “Well, that’s not really—” Rose begins, her hand rubbing her neck as she speaks. She’s flustered and unsure of what she needs to say. Her eyelids blink rapidly as her fingers work circles along the skin of her neck.

  “She’s staying. She lives with us now. Right?” Jacob cuts Rose off mid-sentence and shoots me the sternest look he can muster up. “She needs us, we need her. Simple, she’s not going anywhere. Tell him, Flynn.”

  Of course she isn’t going anywhere. She is good for my brother, and her being here means I can keep an eye on her too. I don’t worry too much about not being here when he gets in from school now, because he has Rose to come home to every day. That can only be a good thing, if I find a job. The more security Jacob has, the better.

  “Is that what you want, Rose? To stay with us?” I have to ask. She shouldn’t let my brother railroad her into anything she isn’t ready to do, but I can’t deny the twinkle in her eye when I ask the question.

  “I like it here. You’re my boys now. If you’ll have me, I’d love to stay.”

  “Well, there’s your answer, Pete. Rose is part of the fixtures and fittings. She’s family. Is that going to be a problem? With the system, I mean. Jacob stays with me, right?” Subconsciously, my body has shifted forward on the kitchen chair, my elbows resting on the table with my fists clenched beneath my chin. Sure, Jacob loves Rose, but if it meant compromising him staying with me, then I’d still pull the plug instantly.

  Pete struggles to stop laughing in order to answer my question. I’m not sure what I said that was so funny. “I’d like to meet the man who tries to remove Jacob from your care! That I’d pay to see.” He composes himself. As his chuckling subsides, he sips his tea then continues, “Flynn, despite what you think, I’ve always been fighting in your corner. I think Jacob should stay with you, but you have to work with me. Rose being here is only helping your case. My report to the judge will state that here, with you and Rose, is the best place for him. I’ll push to reduce my visits to six monthly once your device is removed. If all goes well, then I see no reason why I’d need to continue the intense support visiting that’s in place now. Do you agree?”

  We all nod frantically at once. Jacob’s on his feet, hugging Pete, while Rose gently pats the tears from her eyes and cheeks. Reaching out, it’s my turn to offer her the support she needs. It’s because of her we’ve made it to today.

  “Thank you. I really mean that. I truly don’t know why you’ve stuck around, especially for a no-mark like me.” My attention is solely on Grandma Rose now, while my brother and Pete chat between themselves. “Jacob, yeah, I get the attraction there, he’s kinda cute in his own way, but to stand by me the way you have? Well, I’m forever in your debt for that. Few people see beyond the exterior.”

  “Son, I’ve always known you were a true gem. You just had to find out for yourself. You’re young, plenty of time to perfect all the good your mother embedded in you. Don’t ever doubt that she’d be proud of you, both of you.” Her hand is on my cheek as she speaks softly to me. Her words echo in my ears.

  All I’ve ever wanted to do was make my mother proud. Knowing that Rose thinks she would be does strange things to me. My heart clenches at thoughts of my mother and how different our lives could have been if she’d lived.

  I nod silently at Grandma Rose. If it takes the rest of my life, I’ll make sure my mother, Jacob and Rose are proud of me.

  Chapter Forty

  Harper

  So today’s the day.

  Today I finally leave Bluebell Hill. My little case is packed, and I’ve checked the cabinets and en-suite bathroom twice, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything. It’s not like there were a lot of my belongings here, but crap accumulates over time, and Penny likes to bring me little gifts all the time. Sometimes it’s a lip gloss, or a nail varnish. Sometimes it’s shoes, and although six-inch killer heels aren’t really appropriate for my physio sessions, I do appreciate the beauty of the bright red Louboutin soles. The girl sure has taste.

  They’ve decided to relocate back here now that I’m going home. Pops didn’t want to be too far away from me. We’re moving into a brand new house that he’s bought. It’s not far from the racetrack he now owns outright. Penny’s brother was influential in getting Phil to sign over his forty percent. Seems a bit of muscle and fear can be a good thing sometimes.

  I’ll be living with Pops and Penny-with-the-awesome-rack, as my brother still refers to her, even to her face. She thinks it’s kind of a cute nickname, my father not so much! Sebastian is going to continue travelling before he finds his own niche in my father’s company. He’s been given the choice of locations when he finally decides to take up the reigns. I, too, have the same rights, but it’s not my thing. Telecoms is not that appealing, although quite what I’m going to do with my life now is a complete mystery to me. Everyone keeps saying just concentrate on fully recovering first, and everything else will fall into place.

  I’m doubtful. Racing is in my blood. It’s all I ever wanted to do, but the thought of getting behind the wheel again fills me with dread. Pops is hoping that once I’m back in the thick of things, my feelings will change. I still have offers on the table from some of the big names in racing. Yeah, I was that good. Even a year down the line, they still hound my father. Hence the house near the track. I don’t have the heart to deny him the hope. Instead, I pray that I find my place elsewhere in the industry. Living without racing isn’t really an option.

  My room door pushes open. Dr Forrester smiles as she sits on the edge of the bed. “I see you’re all ready to go.”

  “I’ve been ready for the last two days.” I smile warmly as she chuckles.

  “Well, your dad rang. He’s on his way, and I’ve spoken to the community therapist. Your appointments are listed here.” She hands me a yellow sheet to look over. “I’ve got the pharmacy filling out your medication now, so it shouldn’t be long and you’ll be on your way.” She’s signing off my paperwork as she speaks. “I’ll leave these here for your dad. When he arrives, tell him if he has any questions, to come find me. Harper, it’s been a pleasure to see you progress these last few weeks. I’m sure you’ll go from strength to strength now.” Dr Forrester stands to leave the room. “No Flynn today? I guessed he’d be here with you?” Yeah, you and me both, lady.
I’ve struggled enough with the grim fact that maybe once I left Bluebell Hill, I’d be nothing more than a vague memory to him.

  “He’s probably finishing up with Frank first. I’m sure he’ll come by soon.” I hope he will, anyway. I have so much to say to him but no idea where to start. Penny listens to me talk about Flynn, which I do a lot. He’s trying his best to support me, and I’m trying my best not to have my heart broken when his placement is over and he moves on and forgets about me. It’s inevitable; we live in different worlds. My leaving here earlier than planned hasn’t helped either. I’d hoped to have our…relationship, or whatever it is, on a firmer standing before this day arrived, but I’m not sorry to be going home finally.

  “I’m sure he will. Good luck, Harper, with everything.” With that she is gone, out of my room. It’s probably the last time I’ll see her. The thought has my chest doing that funny little clenching thing it does sometimes.

  My thoughts switch to my errant mother who has returned, finally, showing up two days ago. Turns out that she had to be summoned back from her five-star rehabilitation retreat by the police officer investigating my case. Quite what she’s recovering from, well, I don’t think she even knows.

  The award for mother of the year goes to Suzanne Lawrence. Whatever. I’ve made my peace with it. She has her reasons for being the way she is. Pops has set her up with a nice little life, new apartment in the town she chose, new car and a hefty limit on the credit card. She’s not too far away, so I can visit if I want to, but still far enough so that her children aren’t a complete burden on her. Apparently she has a life of her own to lead, one that she put on hold for my father until he unceremoniously dumped her for Penny-with-the-awesome-rack.

  I like Penny. She’s good for Pops, keeps him grounded. My brother likes her for very different reasons.

  More importantly, she’s been here for me throughout this whole Phil ordeal. She sat with me during police interviews, when my father couldn’t bear to hear what Phil had done to me. She held me while I ugly cried for days, then brought someone in to give me a facial to help “remove those ugly, puffy eye bags,” after which we shopped online, spending my father’s money, obviously.

  The idea of leaving this place scares the ever-living shit out of me, if you want the truth. Every time we talk about it, my heart rate picks up, my palms sweat and I feel nauseous. I stopped going out into the grounds a week ago—it’s mine and Flynn’s thing, him wheeling me around the perimeter of the grounds—because even that started the palpitations and sent my legs buckling beneath me. He didn’t put up with my nonsense for more than a day or two though. Nope, he dragged my sorry arse outside during his break, insisting that he’d pull out the big guns and bring Rose in to torture me if I didn’t. As much as I like the old woman, having her come in to berate me for giving in isn’t exactly my idea of fun, and he knows it.

  We’ve become close, all of us. My family and Flynn’s. We’re like an extended dysfunctional unit, but it works for us. My father has completely exonerated Flynn from any involvement in Phil’s arrest. I didn’t even have to mention it; it was a done deal before it was ever an issue.

  Everyone knew if his name appeared anywhere on a statement to the police, he would be lifted immediately, incarcerated at Her Majesty’s pleasure for at least the next six months. It’s not been confirmed, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Penny’s brother paid a late night visit to Phil, ensuring his silence in the matter, along with a little retribution for what he put me through. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone violence, but let’s just say karma is a bitch.

  It makes him not being here now even harder to swallow. Even if he just came in to say goodbye, if that’s all he could manage, for whatever reason, I’d take it. My gaze wanders towards the window, where I catch sight of Frank on his riding mower. Flynn isn’t with him either.

  Before my thoughts have a chance to confuse the heck out of me, Pops bounds into my room with Penny hot on his heels. She’s whooping and hollering like a cheerleader, much to the amusement of the nursing staff. She just makes me laugh out loud at the sight of her.

  “Please, don’t encourage her! She’s bad enough without you cheering her on.” My father is chuckling all the same as she pinches his arse in retaliation. “See what I mean?”

  “Shush now. Come on, H, let’s lose this joint!” That’s all she calls me now, H. I suppose it’s better than Harp, which she initially settled on.

  Standing, I hook my arm around her offered one. “Well, okay then, P. Let’s get outta here.”

  “Yeah, I’m not so keen on the P nickname.”

  “Really? I kinda like it, P.” I grin stupidly at her as we head out of the room, my father bringing up the rear with my suitcase dragging behind him.

  “Real men lift the case, sweetie, not drag it.” At Penny’s words, my father promptly pushes down the handle and lifts the case, swinging it beside him in defiance at her words. Got to love a trier.

  My heart sinks a little at the absence of Flynn. I try to reconcile the fact that maybe my departure is proving to be just as tough on him as it is on me.

  “Did you forget something?” my father quizzes as I looked back towards the room we just left.

  “I just thought Flynn might have been here today, that’s all. I’m a little disappointed. Wanted to say goodbye.”

  The wrinkles around my father’s eyes soften as he breaks into a smile. “I spoke to him earlier. He didn’t want to say goodbye here, so I invited him, Jacob and Rose over to the house later this evening. I guess I should have told you that, huh?”

  His words should alleviate the pain in my chest, but they don’t. Instead, I focus on the one word I probably shouldn’t.

  Goodbye.

  He is coming over later to say goodbye to me, to us. Perhaps it’s for the best, I try to convince myself while plastering a smile across my face for my father’s peace of mind.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Flynn

  She has no clue, no fucking clue we are here waiting for her. The whole crew from the track have gathered at the new Lawrence residence along with me, Jay and Rose. Not being at the unit for her today has been particularly hard for me. Frank texted me earlier to say he’d caught her watching him mow the lawn. Her thinking I’d abandoned her was pretty tough on me. I’ve had to keep reminding myself all day that the surprise on her face when she sees everyone together will be worth it.

  Jacob’s been for a tour of the racetrack with Stuart earlier this morning, he was so excited when they let him sit in one of the vehicles. One of the mechanics even offered to teach him a few things about engines, if I approved, of course. How could I say no to that face? Five minutes later they had him in overalls and a spanner in his hand, under the guidance of a professional, of course.

  Now, here we are back at Lawrence Towers, with me pacing the floor, stopping periodically to stare out the window, desperate to see the car approaching. After the seventh pass of the window, Stuart hands me an opened bottle of beer. “Here, this might steady the nerves. Penny just sent me a text. They’re about five minutes away. You’ll be fine. She’ll be fine.”

  It doesn’t steady my nerves at all, quite the opposite in fact. My girl is five minutes away, and she probably thinks I’ve done a runner out of her life for good. I feel shitty, perhaps not my finest move. Being with her at the hospital may have been a better idea, but the hope that she’ll like our second surprise after she gets over the shock of seeing us all here is carrying me through this turmoil. That and Rose’s constant pats of reassurance.

  “She’s here, Flynn!” Jacob calls excitedly from across the room. The car tyres crunch over the gravel as Michael pulls the car to a standstill outside the front door. Their muffled voices can be heard over the hushed sound of our own as we all try to stifle our giggles and nerves.

  The key turns in the door, and the footsteps in the hallway grow louder as Penny steers everyone in the right direction. Now is the moment, she’ll f
inally know I’m in this for the long haul. “Just come and have a quick look in here before you go upstairs, please?” Penny almost begs a reluctant Harper, who just wants to lie down for a while. “C’mon, H. The view in here is breathtaking, I promise you, and it’ll be worth it.”

  The door swings open and it’s then that I realise everyone else is standing to the side of the room, leaving me alone, right in front of now open door. The only one directly in Harper’s view. As she walks in, it’s me who is left breathless. Nothing could’ve prepared me for seeing her standing there, in her own home. Forget the view outside; she’s the one who’s breathtaking.

  I smile, cautiously waiting for her reaction as everyone surges forward to greet her. Momentarily I’ve lost her to the gathered crowd. Her crew hug her, some delicately while others roughly manhandle her. It’s clear to see she’s one of them. They treat her like the family I suppose she is. One by one they drift away, shaking Michael’s hand or grabbing more to eat or drink, the welcome home party getting under way as my girl looks a little bewildered by all the fuss. Her eyes keep seeking me out as I patiently wait my turn to greet her.

  “Hey.” She smiles as she speaks to me.

  “Hi. Were you surprised?” Really, Flynn? Is that all you got?

  “You could say that, yes, but it explains your absence at the hospital today.” The smile on her face doesn’t reach her eyes. This isn’t the happy, relaxed smile I want.

  “Yeah, well, it was Penny’s idea, the whole party thing I mean. Your dad wanted to do this at the track, but we managed to talk him out of that. Thought you might want to build up to being back there…”

  The relief is evident on her face. At least I’ve made one good decision. Trying to tell Michael she may never go back to the track was falling on deaf ears. It’s his dream as much as Harper’s, but I’m not sure he should be pushing her to make any decisions right now.